souls of mischief

Friday night was a star-studded affair. I met up with The Air Conditioner for dinner and we headed to Kang Suh in K-town. At the next table was the cutest baby in the universe. Not actually a baby, but a three year old girl with a heart of gold. She wielded a small rubber basketball with such dexterity, I thought her to be the second coming of Zheng Haixia, minus the earth-shattering ugliness. As we ate our meal of rice and assorted vegetables in a hot pot with an egg on top, I heard a woman's voice say, "Can I take a picture of your baby?" I look over and see an attractive chinese woman with an elongated face. Damn it all. It was my arch nemesis Lisa Ling getting her gook on. I imagine she got a taste for Korean food after sampling Ricky Yune's kimbap.

It all started in the summer of 2000. I was attending the Asian American Journalists convention in New York and Lisa was one of the guest speakers there. It was a humid day, muggier than a mugger's ski mask. I was walking down Broadway near the hotel with my new friend Corey Takahashi, who is now a writer at Newsday, and we see Lisa walking towards us wearing a trendy pair of camouflage pants. So I decide to say hello and she snubs me like a snub-nosed monkey. Corey broke into peals of laughter and since then I have harbored a deep resentment towards that Old Navy peddler.

And now she had the audacity to march into one of my favorite restaurants and steal the soul of one of Seoul's cutest babies with her soul-taking camera? As if it wasn't enough for her to steal the Korean fighting spirit of Ricky Yune, the owner of Seoul's tightest abs. The nerve of her! I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and steal her soul with my digital camera. But alas, my brother took my memory card to Spain to take pictures of running bulls so I didn't have it. Once again, the evil Chinatown soul pirate got the best of me. But I promise you, this is not over.



In other news, right after we left the restaurant, 2001 SI Swimsuit cover model Elisa Benitez graced us with her presence as she walked past us on 6th Avenue. Right after we left the swimsuit model, Academy Award winner Tom Hanks graced us with his presence at the movies. We watched his latest film, Road to Perdition. The movie is based on a graphic novel and I appreciated many of the elements that the director borrowed from it. After we left the movies, we went to the West Village where a bunch of homo thugs graced us with their presence.

in other news, i miss my access to Lexis-Nexis.