An open letter to Jean Ho

Re: Your open letter to me

Dear Jean,

I used to like "theatre" over "theater" but I switched. Seemed a bit snobbish.

Did you know that your ex-boyfriend introduced me to my ex-girlfriend? Later, he advised me to keep my distance from her because she was "wack." But then he said that if I wanted to "hit it and quit it" it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Hmm, I sort of followed his advice.

But you're wrong about it not working out between us. Korean men are the Pacific Rim's answer to the hot-blooded Puerto Rican male. Muy caliente. But rumor has it that I will beat you if we get married. Mansei.

Come visit me when you are feeling up to it. I will show you an enchanted world filled with cuban sandwiches, chicken bones, and sidewalk excrement.

Your friend,
Peter

P.S. I have an oval head? Is that a good thing?