it's hot. it's hot when your sweat droplets fall into your bowl of cracklin oat bran. it's hot when your leftover milk curdles inside an hour. it's hot when you sweat in the shower. it's hot when it's hot.

damn, what the fuck happened. i don't remember things so well. hooked up with dk song and got drunk. damn, our shenanigans were limited to being rude to people making us sandwiches and buying late night tall boys. i guess i'm getting soft.

Went to a bar in SoHo last night. Some girl I know brought along her co-workers for a quasi-setup with Brian. One was a half-Korean half-white former Louis Vuitton model. She was damn tall, like 6 feet. One was a filipino looking girl with a heart of gold. She was damn tall, like 5'11. She is a buyer for Barney's. And finally, the third was the half-japanese half scandinavian girl that choiboi had his eye on.

Unfortunately, Brian didn't pass the test. He was deemed too skinny and too young looking. Shit. So now i gotta find some other people to set them up with. Anyone interested?

i got a nose hair trimmer.

chris and karen bought me a graduation gift. a digital voice recorder. very thoughtful.

i'm going to dallas soon.

i'm back.

i went to lunch with my aunt. we went to our family's favorite chinese restaurant, golden city in walnut creek. it was just me and her. we had a good time. i showed her pictures of some girl and she said that her eyes were too big. then we took a picture of a guy who looked like my brother when he had long hair.

my aunt told me about how my little 15 year old cousin took his dad's lexus for a joy ride. we laughed and laughed during the whole retelling of the story but i'm sure she acted real serious when she was reprimanding little Liu. it was kind of strange being on the other side. i'm getting old. but not really.

later, my aunt slipped me an envelope filled with crisp twenties. she told me not to gamble it away.

in other news, i lost $220 at Cache Creek last night.

cali love

life in california is good. i went golfing today, got a tan, went swimming for a little bit, ate some good kom tang, ate some good kimchi chigae for dinner, washed a car, ate a bunch of candy bars, cleaned the fountain (it smelled like wet dog) and that's about it. updates are infrequent cuz i don't have internet access at my house. i'll post more significant entries later because i'm not feeling it right now.

letters to the editor

I found this letter on the street and have laboriously retyped it for your viewing pleasure:


I once heard from an old woman, 'Don't try to find a woman that has left you...

...it only causes you pain. In our case, i only made a halfhearted attempt to get you back through a half-hearted letter. Perhaps I should've never let you go. I let you go without much of a fight. But then if I did that, then things might've gotten ugly. But of course, that's probably what i needed to give things closure: for things to get ugly and for a clean break to happen. Although this break shouldn't be classified as 'messy,' it sure wasn't a clean break, by any means.

I let you go without a fight because until the end, all i wanted was what was best for you. I wanted to give you every kind of happiness and that included losing you, because that's what you wanted. It was really you that gave us up, that gave me up. And I let it happen and no matter how much I can trick myself into thinking that the breakup is mutual and that 'we agreed' to it now i know that not only did i trick myself, you tricked me. Unconsciously, of course. I think sometimes you are so clueless it's frightening. But at the same time, there is a certain feminine intuitiveness that takes over.

It's hard because I was your first boyfriend. It's harder still because, you know what, you were my first real girlfriend. All the other relationships were nothing. They really didn't compare. That must explain why I still even bother.

The right thing to do is to try to forget about you. Yes, that's the right thing to do. I can revisit memories later, I'll have those pictures when that time comes, but for now, it's time for mental purging. Every time I want to think about you, be it a good memory or bad memory, i'm going to push it out of my head. Because even when the good memories rise to the surface and a smile crosses my face, it inevitably washes over to the present and the fact that you are no longer there. And I can't keep doing that. I refuse to do that to myself.

I've decided to go the way of mens sibi conscia recti . I can move on, and do it with dignity. I really should've had more pride during our relationship but something happened to me -- to my inside being -- that took control. I was infected by a fever. That disease is still plaguing me. Slowly but surely, however, my body is reclaiming itself. That you can be sure of.

here i am, sitting in the danville public library. i feel like a loser. it's good to be home, the weather is freaking fantastic and the bitches are flowing like wine. and the wine is flowing like wine.

bah.

goin back to cali to sell my car. see you guys later.

everything's comin' up millhouse

me and eugene tried to cheat at online poker, with mixed results. i lost 80 bucks, he won 120 bucks. is it just me or am i a FUCKING MONEY LOSING MACHINE?! Last week I left a brand new 80 dollar shirt at a fucking strip club or a cab, whichever comes last, along with my MP3 player with brand new memory card. then, I pay some bum 10-20 bucks b/c i was harrassing him and then felt bad, then i lose $50 playing stupid fucking roulette which i know you can't win no matter what and then i lose money on the stupid fucking Diamondbacks (i blame susan kim) and then I almost lose $400 for destroying our fridge in an attempt to chisel out ice. then i lost $2.50 on a 40 of Old English that made me lose money playing poker, all the while i'm losing a grip on the stock market.

I'm a loser.

souls of mischief

Friday night was a star-studded affair. I met up with The Air Conditioner for dinner and we headed to Kang Suh in K-town. At the next table was the cutest baby in the universe. Not actually a baby, but a three year old girl with a heart of gold. She wielded a small rubber basketball with such dexterity, I thought her to be the second coming of Zheng Haixia, minus the earth-shattering ugliness. As we ate our meal of rice and assorted vegetables in a hot pot with an egg on top, I heard a woman's voice say, "Can I take a picture of your baby?" I look over and see an attractive chinese woman with an elongated face. Damn it all. It was my arch nemesis Lisa Ling getting her gook on. I imagine she got a taste for Korean food after sampling Ricky Yune's kimbap.

It all started in the summer of 2000. I was attending the Asian American Journalists convention in New York and Lisa was one of the guest speakers there. It was a humid day, muggier than a mugger's ski mask. I was walking down Broadway near the hotel with my new friend Corey Takahashi, who is now a writer at Newsday, and we see Lisa walking towards us wearing a trendy pair of camouflage pants. So I decide to say hello and she snubs me like a snub-nosed monkey. Corey broke into peals of laughter and since then I have harbored a deep resentment towards that Old Navy peddler.

And now she had the audacity to march into one of my favorite restaurants and steal the soul of one of Seoul's cutest babies with her soul-taking camera? As if it wasn't enough for her to steal the Korean fighting spirit of Ricky Yune, the owner of Seoul's tightest abs. The nerve of her! I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and steal her soul with my digital camera. But alas, my brother took my memory card to Spain to take pictures of running bulls so I didn't have it. Once again, the evil Chinatown soul pirate got the best of me. But I promise you, this is not over.



In other news, right after we left the restaurant, 2001 SI Swimsuit cover model Elisa Benitez graced us with her presence as she walked past us on 6th Avenue. Right after we left the swimsuit model, Academy Award winner Tom Hanks graced us with his presence at the movies. We watched his latest film, Road to Perdition. The movie is based on a graphic novel and I appreciated many of the elements that the director borrowed from it. After we left the movies, we went to the West Village where a bunch of homo thugs graced us with their presence.

in other news, i miss my access to Lexis-Nexis.

i was this close to putting up a real post but then i lost it. i need some literary viagra. time to break out the paperbacks...

lately i haven't felt compelled to write. who knows when i will. but i will. bye.

Me and Yilo had a bon voyage dinner for our eldest brother Timothy. He's off to Spain for a month for some solo RNR. GNR will provide the soundtrack as he is welcomed to the jungle known as the running of the bulls. Yes, that's right, he will be donning the red sash and will do his best to not get gored.

milestoned

A heartfelt congratulations goes out to me, who just recently had his 2,000 visitor to this blog where all i talk about is getting drunk. thanks everyone. actually, the 2,000 visitor was referred to by susan-kim.com and has an ip that starts with 216.39...so if that person is you, email me for your special edition ondal t-shirt and a half-eaten bag of Kasugai roasted hot green peas.

damn, i got drunk. apparently I harassed a bum and was chasing him down the street (he abandoned his shopping cart) yelling at him until my brothers intervened. they said i said i didn't get the respect i deserved from the bum and was rectifying the situation. after they rectified, they said i ended up giving money to the bum, rumor has it that it was a generous sum. in other news, i left my 80 dollar shirt still in the kenneth cole bag (only my second purchase ever from a 5th Avenue store) at a local cabaret/gentleman's club. oh yeah, and some girl came with us to the strip club. it was fun.

Here's a nice picture.

I won. And it only took three weeks of lurking on eBay.
$460 + $50 shipping. I'm the greatest.

Intel Penitum 4 2.0Ghz "A" Northwood Processor Socket 478 CPU (Northwood Processor has twice the cache than the regular 2.0Ghz)
ECS P4S5A Socket 478 DDR Motherboard with latest 4 layer technology
Super ATX Case with 300 Watt Intel and AMD approved PowerSupply And 2 Front USB Ports
Geforce 2 MX 400 64MB 4X AGP Video Card with TV Out (Not the Cheap MX200)
256MB PC2100 DDR Ram Memory upgradeable to 1GB DDR (Micron, Samsung, Kingston, NEC)
40GB ATA100 Hard Drive (Seagate, Western Digital, IBM, Maxtor)
16X LG DVD ROM Drive with PowerDVD Player
Direct Sound AC 97 64 Voice Wavetable and Game Port
10/100Mbs Fast Ethernet Network Card

Tyler Walker made his major league debut yesterday. He was an acquaintenace in college. I remember smoking chronic with him at his fraternity house. He got a dinger hit off him by the Phillies' Scott Rolen. At least he made it to the show, though.



Mike Crudale got his first major league win yesterday by pitching one scoreless inning of relief. Me and "Crew" played baseball in high school together when he got sent down to JV. Apparently, he's been in and out of the majors all year. Who knew.



Tyler Beeson is one of the "filmmakers" behind Bumfights, a mail-order video that CNN says is "grisly footage of homeless men fighting and performing dangerous stunts. He's friends with Crudale. I played baseball with him also.




Dick Pole is a former pitching coach for the SF Giants. He has a funny name. I've never smoked chronic with him.